A different world

I have known this for some time, but the longer I am here the more obvious it becomes to me that the Western Expats living in Dubai live and exist in a completely different world than I have ever witnessed or been a part of before. Let me explain. Every single western person I know over here (with the exception of one friend who shares my mentality) has some form of domestic help working for them on at least a weekly basis. And when I say "domestic help" I mean that they either have a maid/cleaning woman, cook, gardener, driver, or some combination of those. Even our friends who are our age (late 20's early 30's single and/or in a couple but not married professionals) ALL have maids. Some that come more than once a week, and we even have one friend whose cleaning lady comes 3-4 times a week and even prepares meals for her. And this is just single young people who live alone in small apartments.

The kids I tutor on the other hand, take the definition of "domestic help" to a whole new level. EVERY SINGLE child I work with has a nanny. No exceptions. All live-in. Despite the fact that probably 60% of the kids mothers also do not work (stay-at-home moms). And just having a nanny is actually really rare. The majority also have a driver (who drives them to school, after-school activities, tutoring, etc.). There are some kids I work with, with whom I have never met or seen their parents, but have a very friendly relationship with their nanny and/or driver (or both) who I chat with when I see weekly. The ones who live in villas usually have gardeners as well (because who else would maintain the private pool and plants??!). Many probably have cooks as well, but that isn't a topic that ordinarily comes up at tutoring. Although, at least one has mentioned their cook when I asked what their favorite food was. A lot of my kids don't live in 'neighborhoods' either, but live in 'compounds' as I was told when I asked one student to write a description of her neighborhood.

Jen and Jared on the other hand, have chosen to explicitly reject all forms of domestic help. Mostly out of principle (no one ever came to clean my apartment in Boston, why should they here? My apartment here is actually much easier to clean, none of our possessions are here). But also out of a lack of need. I work from 1pm-8pm. I have 6 hours every morning at home. Granted I work out, run errands, etc, but my schedule in no way prohibits me from cleaning my own apartment. Also, for anyone who knows me even a little bit, I have extreme OCD (obsessive compulsive disorder) tendencies, and probably it would just make me upset when some Philippino woman did a job of cleaning half as good as I could myself. In fact, if the pay for domestic help was better (maids and nannies, etc, get paid dirt, hence why everyone has one and can afford one) I would consider hiring myself out. I think I am a pretty damn good cleaner (I had fantastic cleaning teachers in both my Grandmothers, who may or may not share my OCD tendencies).

Our rejection of domestic help also carries over to public places as well. In mall food courts here, people are not expected to bus their own trays. Oh no, you leave your tray of regrettable McDonald's scraps on the table, and within 30 seconds a man in a jumpsuit is rushing over to clear your tray and wipe the table. I think that system is ridiculous. It just buys into the attitude so many western expats get over here of self-importance and entitlement. Well, why not, after years of having someone cater to you hand and foot, of course you're going to think your entitled and pretty special. So, in rebellion of this, Jared and I make a point of bussing out own tray at food courts (because it's such a big inconvenience) and are able to identify other Americans when we see people do the same and feel an odd sense of solidarity. Despite being ostracized by our friends for our attitudes about domestic help, we'll stand firm. It truly is a different world here.